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It was announced in this week’s National Enquirer that the Obamas have not been invited to the number one social and political wedding of the year, that of Prince William and his fiancé Kate, the future King and Queen of Britain. 

The Enquirer, puffed up to the collar studs with synthetic indignation, is disgusted at this “disrespecting “ of the United States, and further, in hushed and horrified tones, states that “Michelle fears that the President will be made a laughing stock for such an obvious snub”.  After all, Ronnie got an invite to Charles and Diana’s.

But what on earth could have brought the Special Relationship to such a pretty pass?  What dreadful calumnies can have occurred to bring about such a rift?

The National Enquirer, true to form, has a selection of its own suggestions which it offers the reader, beginning with the news that William feels Michelle besmirched the memory of William’s beloved mother Princess Diana.  Apparently Moochelle had referred to the sainted Diana as “a sex-crazy clothes horse” which as anyone could  have told her is always the best way to get an invitation to the son’s nuptials.

“Personally I prefer to move with The Times…”

Nor had the Royal family been chuffed at Moochelle’s overly physical familiarity on “that” official visit, when she put an arm around the Queen in a clear breach of protocol, (thereby drawing undue and unwanted attention to the shortness of her maj). 

There is also the fear that the dreadfully noveau and vulgar Obamas will seek to upstage the main celebrants of the day.  And, in a moment of total social blindness, the Enquirer says happily “Barak and Michelle are insulted that the British royals now seem to think they’re better than the American President and his wife.  They are outraged!”  Well that’s not surprising, I mean they didn’t manage to get an invite to last year’s biggest society and political bash for Chelsea Clinton, and now they are getting bumped by the Royals!  Poor Michelle must be wondering if it’s all worth it being First Lady.

To which I might venture to add the following instances which also might not have endeared the Obamas to the Brits.

Obama saying that the French (the French, the long time rivals of the English? – was the man mad?) were the bestest friends of the United States, boma to the max.

Obama sending back the bust of Winston Churchill. 

Obama’s giving Prime Minister Brown a set of DVD’s as a present which, simply to add insult to injury, were not even in the right format to be able to be viewed in Britain.

BP

BP

BP

Obama giving the Queen an iPod with all his speeches for her to listen to.  Bet she loved that. Proper class.

However I wouldn’t want you to leave the piece today with the feeling only the Americans have leaden feet in understanding foreigners feelings, or the subtle dark arts of diplomatic gift giving.   I would simply seek to draw your memory back to 1980, and to Dundee, then a small austere depressed little city which squatted in sullen discontent north of the river Tay in Scotland.  The local Council in a fit of political correctness chose to twin their crumbling hovels to Nablus, a Palestinian city on the west bank of the Jordan.  To cement the deal they sent “Gorgeous George” Galloway with the city’s presents to the Mayor of Nablus, namely a kilt and a crate of Whiskey.  Gifts for a tee total Muslim who had had both his legs blown off in a bombing.

Michelle take heart – that takes some beating!

Copyright David Macadam 2011

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