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 Picture source uncertain poss Wonkette

Obviously we hadn’t been paying sufficient attention to her because she felt she needed to do it all over again.  Not content with trying to upstage the other contenders by flagrantly announcing her decision to run for President whilst standing on the platform at the debate (incidentally how did she get on that platform if she had not announced beforehand?), Michele Bachmann has re-launched her campaign by saying again she is well … running.  This recycling opening speech routine could get real old real fast.

So what is a Bachmann?  What makes her run?  She certainly has the looks.  Always immaculately coiffed, and classically suited she is the middle classes answer to the homey Sarah, more Gucci than Grizzly.

But, wonderfully for those of us who like a spot of light entertainment in our Presidential show, she shapes up as every bit as cookie and gaffe ridden as that other sloe eyed seductress of the right – Christine O’Donnell.  Oh what joys await us?

Take the following selection, which is by no means exhaustive, it’s just a few of my favourites.

  1.  Suggesting that a sizeable proportion of scientists discredit the theory of evolution. “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists many of them holding Nobel Prizes who believe in Intelligent Design.” Really?  Wow!  Could you name some, or any, ok then- just one Nobel Science Laureate who thinks this.  Nope?  Thought not. Complete utter twaddle.
  2. But just to show how science is so very much her thing she also wittered on about Swine Flu during the time when we were all being scared to death by that particular hare. “I find it interesting” she bored on “ that is was back in the 1970’s that the Swine Flu broke out under another Democrat President Jimmy Carter.  I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think its an interesting coincidence”.  Not much you’re not you scaremongering idiot!  Anyway just to let some facts cloud her day, Swine Flu first appeared under Gerald Ford in 1976 and then later under Ronnie Reagan in 1988.  Democrats both of course … not. Perhaps during the campaign she might let science look after itself.
  3. Law. Maybe she knows more about that. Let’s look at what she said about the Census.  Famously she would not complete the Census.  Because she said it asked for her phone number.  The Census did not ask for this.  Why would a census ask for phone numbers?  Perhaps she thought the Democrats would steal the numbers to robophone people during the campaign.  Anyway she went on to say that she would complete only her name and address as that is all it’s a constitutional requirement to complete.  Umm, no, not really it is required by the Constitution to complete the Census in full.  Not bad for someone in the Legislature.
  4. Being a Tea Party candidate she is steeped in the stirring early history of the Republic. Maybe history is where she is strongest. Which must be why she said the shot that began the War of Independence was fired in New Hampshire, rather than in Lexington and Concord in Massachusetts   A Gaffe that rang around the world as was quipped at the time.  Ho ho!
  5. But even better, she came out with the classic, the brilliant the frankly sublime “The Founders [she was speaking here of the Declaration of Independence] worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”  What complete rubbish, what utter drivel.  I mean how old did she imagine these guys were by the time the thirteenth amendment came into force?  As if they were tottering about in their one hundred and forties!  Does she even know of the thirteenth amendment?

Well I don’t know about getting to be President, but I sure as hell don’t want her on my team for the weekly pub general knowledge quiz.

 Copyright David Macadam 2011

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