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Picture credit : paradiseshift.wordpress.com

There must be a “this is beyond belief” section on the blog and if not I should start one.  Where else would you put this particular gem?

If Americans are wondering where they might best start to cut back on useless beurocratic expenditure to reduce their awful debt balance,they might care to look closely at the FBI’s Communities Against Terrorism site where the busy boys and girls have been scratching away goodo sculpting a set of handy dandy posters and course materials for you to follow.  Oh yes they have courses you know!  On line or on-site. Check out SLATT or “State and local Anti Terrorist” run by the Bureau of Justice Assistance part of the FBI.

According to these deluded enough to go, what would you find would be the following.

According to these “experts” there are certain true signs of the radical witch, sorry terrorist, that one might care to watch out for and report to the relevant authorities.  And please, I am not making this up!

First, and most egregiously laughable, is the idea that if you are running a coffee shop and someone comes in and pays you cash for the soapy frothed up suds that American chain stores call coffee, this is sure fire sign that they might be a terrorist.  Yep cash.  For coffee.  Seriously.

It seems that the FBI want to have every transaction in the USA done by Credit Card or Debit Card so they can spend even more of American tax payers dollar following trails of your purchases.  Well I suppose it keeps them in a job.

Other signs to look out for – and again it’s all there on their site – are a smell of chemicals or singeing, scorch marks, fried hair or brown burned bits on clothing, or missing fingers.  I love this!  I mean if you are a disabled brown person with a foreign accent and a hint of the vindaloo, you are just soooooo labelled.  Stereotypes or what?  How many bombers do know of who have missing body parts from failed prior attenpts at getting the mixture right?  Strangely, when they are supposed to be so on point, there is no mention made at all of the smell of marzipan.

Using Google maps on your new Apple II, when you are wandering about your tourist destination, sightseeing is a real no-no.  That would be a sure sign of the terrorist  the use of a Google map – you see.

Tattoo shops in particular, are  singled out as well known sites for suicidal numpties intent on nipping in to get a quick pre-detonation jihadi tattoo on their buttocks, a practice for which we are assured as CAT tell us they habitually pay cash. The idea is that tattoo artists should look out for strange conversations and cash transactions.  In a tattoo shop!  Strange conversations all the all time in the natural home for the deranged? How strange is that meant to be? It’s like thinking fairgrounds are not populated by oddball wannabees.

Picture credit: about.politicalhumor.com.

Seriously though, this kind of rubbish does nothing to assist anyone fight true terrorism, which is well fly to all this guff.  It only serves to frighten the ordinary unpoliticised voters ahead of the election that some dark skinned foreigner determined on destroying their way of life is sitting in their coffee shop right now!!!  Or is that the  purpose?

Copyright David Macadam 2012

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