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canada-or-bust

 Mr Jones of Jones Air offering free one way flights.

Remember only just the other year when all those “refugees” began to flood into Europe how the celebrity pack stood as one, pledging support and saying how keen they would be to take these poor huddled masses into their own homes and look after them?  Remember how the likes of the sainted Sir Bob Geldof said he would take in not one, not two but three families?  Remember Stan Collymore?  Recollect how arch Hampstead liberal icon Emma Thomson was so very keen that she and we should be throwing open our doors?  How politicians like Yvette Cooper (Labour Very Lovey) would have them in her own home – like taking in a stray dog?  Or indeed the Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon saying she too would take them into her own home to partake in a plate of porridge and eggy soldiers, just as soon as they got off the bus up to Edinburgh?

And remember how not one of the lying darlings actually kept their word?

Cringing bloody hypocrites, the lot of them.

And it’s been a bit like that in America in the last week.  Just before the election a whole raft of burned out old has beens, Z list celebrities, zonked out darlings and a host of hangers-on all came out to state that should that anti-Christ “The Donald” have the temerity of going to the White House they would instantly up sticks and emigrate.  Most seemed to want to go to Canada.  Which is odd, considering that a large number of them wear little or nothing, and run about in their drawers all day, no one seems to have told them of the need in Canada for a pair of stout shoes and a heavy coat.

So, who were these paragons and what are they doing?  I mean it could not be easier.  They could even do it for free.  The photo at the top is of Mr Jones of Jones Air who is kindly offering them free one-way tickets to Canada.

Cher.  Before the election she was keen to head off to Jupiter if Trumpy-poo got sight of the White House, today though, she and her people are less keen to talk about her plans and help clarify if what she really meant was she wanted to go to “Jupiter pharmacy” in Canada, the countries only licenced medical marijuana sellers.

Amy Schumer is now claiming “It was only a joke” that she was planning to move to Spain.  As she doesn’t speak Spanish it would actually have been quite funny.

George Lopez was all set to slip off to Mexico.  Has he said anything about going?  Nope another fantasist.

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Ginsberg is an unusual inclusion.  She was saying she might leave America for New Zealand.  Well Ruthy we are waiting.

Miley Cyrus was insistent she would move if Trump got in.  “I don’t say things I don’t mean” she shouted at the press.  Aye right love.

Lena Dunham has been very, very quiet since the election…but I think she is still here just being very, very quiet.

Jon Stewart.  Oh dear, oh dear one expected better from our Jon.

Chelsea Handler insists that she really meant to go, but has been “persuaded” by her office that she has a responsibility to stay.  My bullshit barometer fell off the wall at that one!

Raven-Symone told us all she was off to Canada and had even bought the ticket.  Still on the ground though.

Neve Campbell.  She was due to go to Canada too but didn’t.

Samuel L Jackson had decided that South Africa is nice at this time of year. He seems to have gone to ground.

Barbara Streisand.  Ah, one of the truly great lovies and still here with you all.

Ne Yo.  Yeah I had to look him up too.  Still here.

Chloe Sevigny was all for Nova Scotia.  I mean seriously?  Nova Scotia?  However she is still here too.

Amber Rose of “And I’m taking my son too” has decided not to follow through on her promises.

Whoopi Goldberg was actually misrepresented and it wasn’t what she meant at all.  Nope folks not a word of it.  Can’t see where you got that idea from.  No sir, not me.

 Omair Hardwick is off to Italy.  Just not today, or this week.  Can’t actually tell you when.

Eddie Griffen bless him, is off to Africa.  Not quite sure if he knows how big Africa is or that it’s not actually a country.

Keegan Michael Key is supposed to be going to Canada only like everyone else on the list it isn’t happening anytime soon.

Perhaps some good will come of this.  It might mark the end of “the celebrity political endorsement” by vacuous non-entities seeking column inches.  I’ll not be holding my breath though.

Oh yes!  Before I go….Maybe the Archbishop of Canterbury can let us know how the refugees he stuck in that handy little house at the bottom of the garden are doing?  Still there my Lord?  Or did you have them moved on about as quickly as the camera circus?

Copyright David Macadam 2016

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