, , , , , , , , , , ,


I sometimes wonder if we have reached the age of peak crazy, or if instead it just cannot quite yet match the level of true barking that was my childhood.  Take tonight for instance.  At midnight, this Friday we are all being enjoined to band together in a worldwide occult ritual of binding Donald Trump so that he and all his little friends don’t do any more harm to the world or continue to scare the lefties.

The idea is to wait until midnight on the waning crescent moon and enact the ritual until trump gets the message and leaves office.  If it doesn’t work tonight, then we should all repeat each month.

Just bear with me on this one.

As with all new age hocus this just had to be termed “open source” magick, and to be easily achieved by gathering various items from around the house.

You will need :-

An unflattering photo of the Donald.  Not too difficult.
A Tarot card of “The Tower” – geddit?
A small orange candle – ooh satire.
Or if you cannot get an orange candle today a small carrot will do.  I mean seriously?
Water, salt, feather, ashes for the elements and you are off..

Scratch onto the candle that you want Donald blocked, and light the candle.  Ponce about in you under-gunders and wave your arms lots.  Eating the carrot is an option.  Sticking the carrot where the sun don’t shine is another more amusing possibility.

Now, if you think this is quite the daftest thing you have heard in a long while might depend on your age.  As someone old, I can actually recall the time when Johnson, an equally unpopular President, was met by the occult forces of radical political theatre, and it was way more spectacular, utterly more surreal and far more fun than sticking carrots up your bottom.

You see in our narrow times we are woefully constrained in our occult ambitions.  Carrots and tarot cards at midnight indeed.  Back in the day the liberal young generation attempted to levitate the Pentagon!  And in broad daylight too.  They even applied to the local authorities for a permit (now that is satire).


On an early autumn day on the 21st October 1967, a unique absurdist happening was played out to world-wide incredulity on the lawns of Washington.  Fully 70,000 to 100,000 people gathered.  First at the Lincoln memorial where the throng were entertained by poetry from Ginsberg, speeches from Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman, David Dellinger and the world renowned Dr Benjamin Spock.  There was even music by Peter, Paul and Mary.


After this it was off to the Pentagon building itself.  The crowd duly surrounded the building where an ancient Aramaic exorcism (above) was enacted.  The idea was that would raise the building into the air by about oh say three feet, whereupon it would turn orange and vibrate thus bringing the Vietnam War to an end.

Now that’s the style!

Opposing this rag tag brigade of the anti-war movement were two thousand five hundred soldiers of the 82nd Airborne Division and 200 US Marshalls all armed with tear gas and rifle butts.  It was all great fun, a “happening”.  An absurdist’s response to an absurd war.  The protestors stuck flowers down the rifles barrels and sang and danced.  A few rushed the lines and were beaten back, but for most it was a lovely day out in the traditions of the 1950’s Beat generation or the Dadists and Diggers theatre groups.

See?  Your grandparents knew how to do it properly!

Daft yes, effective in terms of political theatre – probably.  Remembered?  Undoubtedly.  As a boy of twelve I was transfixed to the television I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  Certainly, way more effective than hiding in your bedroom moaning, and staring at unflattering photos of Donald.

Will anything that today’s worthless generation do regarding Trump live up to that autumn afternoon?

Candles and carrots indeed.

Copyright David Macadam 2017