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sex-offenders-in-white-house

The picture above is of a delicate young snowflake at a recent demonstration saying that it is not acceptable that Trump hold the position of President and live at the White House because he is “a sex offender”.

Now, ignoring the fact that The Donald has never been charged with any such thing, far less actually been convicted, this fatuous young lady says much about the level of political debate in America following the defeat of Clinton.  And the shortness of Democrat memories.

Certainly Trump has been found on tape being extremely course and vulgar regarding young women.  But being course was never a bar to political office in the States before now – or there would need to be mass resignations across the country.

But even if we were to pursue this line of argument, just how bad is Trump regarding sexual mores compared to his predecessors?  .

Ignoring the historical rule to judge the times by their times …let’s just do it anyway.

From the very beginning they were at it.  George Washington had a long term mistress called Sally Fairfax.

Thomas Jefferson.  Thomas is one of those iconic Presidents of whom little can be said that might be allowed to be derogatory.  But Jefferson was certainly odd even by the standards of his own times.  Probably a high functioning autistic personality Jefferson had appalling social skills and hated meeting people, a failing it seems he shares with other holders of the office.

But one simply cannot miss out the elephant in Jefferson’s room which is the story of Sally Hemmings.   Sally Hemmings was the young slave girl whom Jefferson took as a mistress, and by whom he had perhaps as many as six children.  This story has intrigued and infuriated American commentators for years, – and not, perhaps, for the most obvious reasons.

Civil rights activists have frequently been attracted to the story because they see it as a sign of the prevailing abuse of all slaves in the Old South.  The slave question was one which divided America and Americans in his time as well as today.  His contemporary President Adams was famously anti-slavery.

Now, it was not unusual for white planters to have “relationships” with their black slaves; whether these were coerced or not is not a matter for this posting.  Certainly, we can only speculate as to the level of consent given.

What gives additional zest and piquancy to this story is that Sally Hemmings – the slave in question- was not just any young girl whose charms had caught Jefferson’s eye.

Sally was his sister-in-law.

Sally was born to a slave of John Wayles, who was the father of Jefferson’s wife Martha.

Sally’s mother was herself mixed race, and probably only half black at most.  Sally was therefore three quarters white and said to be very light skinned; so light that her children by Jefferson were able to pass as “fully white”.  She was described by Isaac Jefferson (no relation) as “mighty near white…very handsome, long straight hair” and Jefferson’s grandson Henry Randolph Jefferson remembered her as “light coloured and decidedly good looking”

It is almost beyond comprehension that apart from having family by one’s wife’s half sister, one could then keep her and the children –one’s own children- as slaves!  To put the tin lid on it all the whole ménage a trios lived under the same roof.  ‘Cepting Sally, cos she lived in the slave block.  Sally remained a slave to the end.

And people think Fritzl was strange.

John Q Adams did however enjoy skinny dipping in the Potamac with reporters of both sexes.  Oh how we want that one brought back!

Next up, and in no particular order is Groper sorry Grover Cleveland.  He came to the White House with an old accusation of raping one Maria Halpin when they lived in that arse end of the universe Buffalo NY.  “By force and violence” according to her affidavit.

Warren Harding is perhaps largely forgotten these days, but in his time was quite the old goat, serial philanderer and adulterer.  Like Presidents before and after he had a pet name for his penis which he called “Jerrie”.  He ran at least two long term mistresses, Carrie Fulton Philips and his favourite wifelet Nanna Popham Britton 1896 – 1991.  He had a child by her in 1919.  There are a number of love-letters by Harding to Nanna, and once you remember that “Jerrie” is his willie they make quite racy reading.  Rumours persist that his death in 1923, whilst still in office, was murder by his slighted wife.  However as he had filled his cabinet with criminals there were several other contenders waiting in that queue.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt had a long time relationship with his wife’s secretary Lucy Mercer, and lesser relations with his sixth cousin Daisy Suckly, Princess Martha of Sweden, Dorothy Schiff and Margarita LeHand.

Eisenhower would have had a relationship when in the White House but by that time was suffering from erectile problems so the matter was platonic.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy was said to have screwed everything that wasn’t nailed down.  He famously said that if he didn’t get sex he took headaches.  Marylin Munroe was one of his more famous conquests and we might remember came to a rather a sudden end.

Lynden B Johnson.  Now he also gave his todger a pet name, calling it “Jumbo” and had a delightful habit of whipping out the old John Thomas whenever the occasion demanded and frequently when it didn’t.  He had a perculiar trick of presenting it to other men in toilets and asking if they had ever seen one quite that size.  As a philanderer he was far worse and much more obvious than Kennedy ever was, although Johnson doesn’t seem to have suffered from the same level of publicity.  Lynden frequently used the White House pool for swims in the nude so everyone might admire ol’ Jumbo.  This privilege was not just for White House staff but was extended to visiting foreign dignitaries who were one supposes to be intimidated and awed by the monstrosity with which God had blessed the incumbent alpha male.  LBJ would also just whop the old number out and urinate in car parks in full view of anyone unfortunate to be about.  At least he kept his habit of defecating in front of secretaries and staff to his inner circle in the White House.  Now if the lady with the placard was looking for a poster boy example Johnson was a really vulgar man

Nixon was supposed to have had an ongoing gay affair with a mobster called Rebozo.

Ronnie Reagan was always dogged with that accusation that once he raped a young starlet, Selene Walters back in 1952.

Bill Clinton is of course our latest freewheeling President.  Johnson might well laugh (actually one feels he wouldn’t be able to stop) at the stories of Bill’s five inch dong with a girth the size of a quarter.  And a bend, to the left we assume.

Even someone as unimaginative as George W Bush seemingly gets it on.  George was taken to court by Margie Schoedinger who filed a lawsuit claiming, that in October 2000—during the final weeks of the presidential election—Bush was guilty of “race based harassment and individual sex crimes committed against her and her husband.”  We cannot take this story much further as less than a year after filing the complaint, Schoedinger was found dead of what police described as a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

Trump may indeed be course, rude and given to vulgarity on an industrial scale, but he has yet a long, long way to go before the young lady with the placard has much to complain about.

Copyright David Macadam 2017

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