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Genuinely, as a non-American I really do find this curious.  It is a sociological conundrum.  The fact that of all the world’s democracies America’s is the only one I know that actively measures political dissent or support in reams of toilet paper.  In Britain, we have to make do with the Guardian.  Every time there is an election, out come the novelty bog-rolls for whichever party and whomever is standing.  Perhaps if you do not appear on the bum wipe of the nation then no one will take you seriously?  Could it be seen as a back handed compliment?

But why the Americans?  And why, when so much else is taken up with such enthusiasm by other countries does the political lavatory paper fail to catch on elsewhere? Even lavatories themselves are grist to the lavatorial scatalogical political climate. In an extensive trawl, I was only able to identify this Kaiser Bill example from the first world war as proof this class of joke is of long standing.  It is British and as far as I can see (PLEASE let me know if you think different) it is the only example.

kaiser bill bog roll

Even during the Second World War the British chose not to satirise Hitler with lavatory paper.  Probably rationing had something to do with that.  America however was less constrained and produced at least the variety shown below.  Whether it would come with imprecations against “Herr Shitler”, “the Turd Reich” or even being called “The Third Wipe” I couldn’t say.  Maybe you were challenged to colour in his moustache.

ww II anti hitler

Anyway a more modern version is seen above hanging in pride of place on the back of the door of my second lavatory.  (In my primary lavatory I prefer to move with the times!).  Trump grinning up at me as I sit there at my weakest and most exposed!

And here is a selection of recent examples from both ends of the political spectrum.

bernie bog roll


bush bog paper


hillary arse wipe

trump and putin loo roll

But you are thinking these exist only for duration of the campaign.  They can only be truly novelty items, they cannot be thought of as going main stream?  Can they?

Maybe not.  Mexican lawyer Antonio Battaglia might be about to do just that with his patented “Trump” brand bog roll.  “Softness without borders” it claims and will be passing at least 30% of any profits to charities supporting migrants to the USA.  Available in your local store soon?



Copyright David Macadam 2017